Overheard: Newcastle

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I recently spent a few days in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where I heard the following choice sayings:

• 'Ah'm sorry about earlier burr ah didn't start it'
  
  
• 'Is this Abba or Share? ...oh it's Abba. Share do Abba now too ya know!'
  
  
• 'Ah'm here for the ketameen conference but I think I'm in the wrong place'
  
  
• 'That's all in foreign, I can't read foreign. If it were English, I might be interested.'
  
  
• 'I was reading the obituary of a philosopher the other day. He was anti-capitalist, said he wanted to see a rich person hang.'
  
  
• 'I didn't know his name so just put him in my phone as Gay 2'
  
  
• 'That's the Jack Daniels as a reference point'
  
  
• 'Let's go get some hula hoops!'
  
  
• 'Ya're loookin glowin, very sunny!' 'Thanks, it's cos I've had eleven hours sleep for once'
  
  
• In a charity shop, two women discussing a third:
  
  - She didn't turn up to work! She says, "this is my boyfriend and we're onna date" and the date is stood there looking nervous. I said to her, "you're meant to be at work!"
  
  - Aye she's taking the piss that lass!

Circle lines | Brussels

Photo by Sebastien LE DEROUT on Unsplash

A few weeks ago, I was in Brussels so took a circular trip on the Brussels metro. I travelled on the 6 line on an almost entire loop (with a small walk between two stations). Here's what I saw:

- A woman wearing a denim shirt tapping her hand on the phone she was carrying

- Two girls wearing matching brown skirts and black t-shirts, with different backpacks - one pink, one with red polka dots

- A man scoffing down a panini

- A girl with a colourful giraffe on her sweater

- A man with the words 'got no fears' on his jacket 

- Flowers: a woman carrying a white flower on a wooden twig, two women carrying fuchsia

- Someone with a red backpack emblazoned with the letter M

- A lot of people wearing purple, supporting Anderlecht for a Croky Cup match  

- A man wheeling a TV on a trolley

King's Day, Amsterdam: seen and heard

Photo by Jannik on Unsplash

On King's Day in Amsterdam, I took a walk around the city in the morning - before the big parties start and as people set up their vrijmarkt flea markets. Here's what I saw and heard:

• A woman with a red, white and blue coat - classier than the orange looks
• A shot-to-go stand
• A sign for MINI VEGAN SALT BARS (no clue)
• An Italian woman with giant glasses selling hand knitted hats
• Guys peeing against trees, a woman squat down between two cars (11am!)
• Nearby, a cute kid selling her jewellery
• A sign for a 'Transcendental Toilet'
• A woman with an orange moustache shimmying to Shakira
• An American tourist looking at a hot dog stand declaring, 'yeah, that's solid'

A random trip from Amsterdam

I read and wrote about a book on Experimental Travel in 2011 with great ideas to do some of the experiments. And then, I never did any of them! Until now, more than a decade later.

I took a random trip from Amsterdam Centraal - using random number generators to determine my journey.

My instructions were:

• Go to Amsterdam Centraal. Use a random number to choose a platform.
  
  
• Then, use a random number between 1 and 120 to choose how long to stay on the train. Get off at the next stop.
  
  
• Random number 1 and 60. Walk for that long, with random left / right turns
  

Today I started at the train station. Using the random number generator to choose the platform brought me to two platforms that are not currently in use. The third try brought me to the train that just goes to the airport. So instead, I jumped on the train on the adjoining platform which was leaving at that time.

Then, I used the random number generator to work out the duration I should stay on the train = 60 minutes. I'd get off at the next stop after that, which was Anna Paulowna (after 63 minutes).

This was actually a bit exciting for me, as Anna Paulowna is a Dutch town I've not yet visited. Looking it up later, I learn it's named after Anna Paulownapolder, the reclaimed land on which the town is built. That land is named for Anna Paulowna, the Russian wife of Dutch King William II.

The train went through the flat landscapes of Noord Holland, passing fields with cows and sheep and occasional glimpses of tulip fields in full bloom.

Arriving there, I saw: 

- A street festooned with Dutch flags on each home

- A boat and a convertible sportscar for sale

- Three Buddhist monks in bright yellow robes eating ice-creams

- A flower festival in full swing. The 'Bloemendagen' (Flower Days) are in their 70th year

- Two people cycling around, dressed as the two Dutch kissing figures

- Floral tributes to musical acts like Freddie Mercury and, eh, Taylor Swift

- A lovely flower garden with tulips and daffodils. Some varieties were named after cultural figures like Judith Leyster or Giuseppe Verdi or places like Brazil, Île-de-France or Monte Carlo.

After walking around for around an hour, I made my way back to the train station through very residential neighbourhoods, happy to have seen these flowers. A very pleasing random trip! 

Overhead: London streets

Photo by Ana Paula Grimaldi on Unsplash

I was recently in London. As I walked around, I heard the following:

• I don't think we need many offences to send him to prison, but the more the merrier!
  
  
• And then I'm gonna die on the spot
  
  
• I'm not cool, am I?
  
  
• Do you know what a chicken wing is? Do you?!
  
  
• I didn't go to Paris to hang out with them!

Overheard: emphatic Amsterdam

Spring has arrived in Amsterdam, and as I've walked around the city, I've heard people being very emphatic:

• I can zig AND zag!
  
  
• I learned a LOT about cold weather living in Boston
  
  
• She had a long black coat, VERY sophisticated, with black-silver buttons, very rich
  
  
• Where are you going? You SHOULD go to that expensive store over there.

Circle Lines | Berlin

One day, while in Berlin, I rode the S-Bahn that loops around the city. There are two lines: the S41 goes clockwise, the S42 goes counter-clockwise. As Berlin is a city filled with history, I went back in time on the S42. 

The most striking quality for me was the silence. The carriages were quiet, and not especially busy. The people that were there were not speaking - maybe the silence begets more silence.

During the ride, which lasted around an hour, here's who I saw.

- A woman carrying a bag with bright blue straps

- Three adults getting on with three children, saying auf auf auf

- A young Asian man intently reading one page of a book

- A woman holding a stack of small yellow and orange pieces of paper.

- A woman striding purposefully wearing a t-shirt with the slogan Rights and Wrongs

- A very chill ticket inspector wearing a hoodie

- A man wearing a beige woolly hat turning his face to the spring sunshine

- A woman wearing a mint green coat and large gold headphones

- A man dropping two €20 notes from a wodge of cash. Cash is king in Germany!

Overheard: Berlin

I recently spent a few weeks staying in Berlin. As I walked around the city, I over-heard these snatches of conversations:

• Shall we go up that dome there?
  
  
• Ain't nobody got time to meditate for 45 minutes in the morning!
  
  
• You're gonna have to warn me about these German jokes.
  
  
• Do you recommend packing tonight, not tomorrow? 
  
  
• ...but what are you wearing and why?
  
  
• Should we maybe try to have some chips?
  
  
• He was not allowed to study painting in Vienna.
  
  

Overheard: Benidorm

I went to Benidorm last week for Benidorm Fest and kept my ears open for interesting chit-chat. Here's what I heard:

• The thing is, I've been friends wi' Gary for thirty-five year
  
  
• I've got a curry club in Leatherhead when I get back on Thursday
  
  
• Oh that's another thing I did with me mince, I made myself a burger...
  
  
• We're on the yellow now... well it's more lemon that, in't it?