Hurrah, the BBC have finally announced who's in the running to be the UK eurovision entrant.
And they are: nice Atomic Kitten Liz McClarnon, tough East 17 'lad' Brian Harvey, rapper group Big Brovaz, annoying rock twat Justin Hawkins & Beverlei Brown, someone called Cyndi and Steps-a-like reformed for one occasion only Scooch.
I'm already giving Liz my support as her song, (Don't It Make You) Happy!, has both an exclamation mark and is lyrically positive and sounds like it will be bouncy.
Top Marks to Scooch who seem to be in airline costumes and want to bring pure pop back for the UK. Airline uniforms - the spirit of Sestre and Copenhagen Airport. Ace. And they're song is called Flying the Flag for You. Flags! Bring on the wind machine!
Things I do
I ask people to draw maps...
· Draw the World
· Draw Europe's nations
· Crowdsourced Continent maps
I make map cards:
· See map cards
· Buy map cards
And other things I write about:
· Little moments from travel
· London art & museums
· Football with foreign fans
· London shop geography
About this blog
I may have asked you to draw me a map - have a look around, they're all here somewhere.
- Lady from the band wore yellow and black striped socks, over pink tights, green shorts and a red striped t-shirt over a green t-shirt. Brave is one word. She grinded her crotch, shook her rump and did frenzied faux simulated aerobic sex movements on stage. If she were more co-ordinated, she'd be a Pussycat Doll.
But, now, to the main attraction. The Gossip took to the stage with huge cheers.
- Beth Ditto strutted on stage wearing a silver bin bag over blue leggings. She promptly whipped off the bag to reveal a bright blue spandex body suit and sparkly belt. It was amazing.
- Bintal, in her California tones, described the 'bin bag' as a 'trash bag'. Ditto wore a silver trash bag. Ace!
- They described their song Coal to Diamonds as a gay / lesbian / transexual / bi-curious love song.
- She took the NME to task for "chicken-shitting the fuck out" by not putting her photo on the cover despite placing her at Number One on their Cool List.
- Costume change! Spandex blue catsuit was replaced with a more conservative, but cool, black cropped trousers and voluminous bosom top.
- Standing in the Way of Control is amazing - combining angry guitars and woah-oh's in one song is always immense.
Shock, OMG, etc! This is After Dark comme homme. The illusion is rather ruined somewhat. Let's go back to the way it should be.
These are some things I'm currently enjoying, liking and loving:
- This is Spanish Eurovision winner Massiel (she won in 1968!) presenting a song at the Spanish preselection. Massiel won't be singing Busco Un Hombre in the final, she was just presenting it. That's a crying shame as it's a wonder to behold.
I particularly like her swinging her coat above her head and her exuberant bouncing. She's a game old bird.
- From one game old bird to another. It's Carola, in full strut formation, arms aloft stomping her way through Invincible, again, at the Spanish preselections. I like how the floaty blue top she's wearing never really fits until her arms are aloft in the flag-carrying position.
- And finally, according to tabloid tittle-tattle, Jude Law is dating the presenter of Iceland's X-Factor show. Her name is Halla Vilhjalmsdottir. What a fantastic name. I want more celebrities dating random foreign celebrities with ace names.
Last night's Melodifestivalen semi-final was all kinds of ace. I loved all the songs, and there was exciting drama in the results which were super-surprising. I felt some accolades needed to be mentioned:
The Anything A Minogue Can Do I Can Do Better Award goes to Therese. Spinning on a CD and posing on the CD = Ace. The Arrival is a great song, I hope it becomes a hit outside MF.
The Strutting Award goes to Måns Zelmerlöw for some wonderful shapes being thrown in Cara Mia. He was a strong contender for The Synchronised Dancing Award but I think Nanne pips him at the post for the swooping movements in the final chorus in her performance.
The What The Hell Are They Wearing Award goes to Magnus Carlsson and Sebastian. Magnus seemingly decided to come as Katrina out of Katrina & the Waves, whereas Sebastian continued Jordan's looking like a Teletubby trend with shocking aplomb.
Wind Machine Award to Sonja. Lovely ballad with wind effects.
Hurrah. The MF final is shaping up to be every kind of exciting. I personally think Sweden stands a great chance in Eurovision if they send Sebastian. It's a rousing song, has a wonderful trick-you-and-lead-you-into it key change and he dances like a seagull. Can't beat that.
Go Nanne! I cannot wait to see this! She's got a climbing frame, and synchronised strutting. Lady Na-Nanne is brilliant
I'm blogging live, and just a little tipsy (amazingly for the first time), listening to the new batch of MF songs.
* Regina Lund. She's no Lena Philipsson! Ha. It's rather great. Loving the spoken word intro. Wonderful, thumping chorus and we-love-you-for-who-you-are sentiment. Key change comes way too early, but that doesn't stand in the way of ace pop! Hasn't a chance to qualify I'd say, but I love it. She's dressing up as a space-cosmonaut-clown (or something) tomorrow. She's clearly bonkers. Hurrah.
* Marie Lindberg is oh-so-lovely but it's not ace pop nor schlager and I'm too tipsy to give it the time of day.
* Yimmy Yansson! I find it hard to believe Thomas G:Son wrote this. Where are the clichés? Where is the not-really-lyrically clever mention of Evighet? At least it has a key change! It's nowhere near as fun as Vi Kan Gunga (or whatever), but should be a fun performance.
* Ooh, Cosmo4! It sounds like the sound of a tipsy night out! Hurrah. Homage to promiscuity! Hurrah! I'm liking the cat metaphor. Pussy *snigger* etc. I hope they can pull this off live, as it could be ace.
* The opening to Lustans Lakejer's song is dramatic, and then the singing starts. Oh dear. It can never reall recover from the vocal, it's too flat, too dull, too old-man-trying-to-do-electro-pop. Nice backing vocals though, and a key change!
* I'm skipping Jessica Andersson in the hope that it's brilliant.
* Svante Thingy & Anne-Lie Rydé is jazzy-schlager. It's sort-of fun, but I don't see it qualifying, but I don't suspect they even think it will either.
* The Ark are pumping. It's ripped off from a thousand glam rock songs, but it's good fun. Should be performed brilliantly. Takes forever to get to a chorus - if that could even be called a chorus! Actually, I don't like this. It's practically acoustic for goodness' sakes.
* Thank fuck for Jessica Andersson! It's not as good as Kalla Natter, but it does mention INGENTING, and Kom is an excellent title. It's crying out for a dance remix. The key change is fabulous.
And that's that. Me sleep now.
Elin Lanto performed in last weekend's Melodifestivalen with the very ace Money. Lanto is a popstar in waiting, having a hit a few year's ago with I Won't Cry, a poppy, soppy ballad. Money is completely different, and thank goodness. It's ace, with its delightfully cheeky selfishness.
Now, SVT are a bit touchy about people handing out mp3s willy-nilly and I don't want to anger the Swedes, so below you can watch the performance on youtube. It's equally ace! Elin progressed from the semi-final to the Second Chance round. Here's hoping she gets through to the final! It needs to be there, here's why:
- Money is in line with its Swedish ancestary, namechecking Abba's Money Money Money
- Show me what it takes to be a real rich bitch is a fabulously audacious lyric. Adopt it as a slogan now!
- Shining gold for me to hold - she needs it alright.
- I love the wilfully cheeky contrast between the lyric I'm not greedy, I'm not greedy, I'm not greedy, not at all, only to be followed by I want money, I want money, I want money, I want it all. Trashy!
- Someone's been attending the Paparizou School of How To Be Fierce on Stage.
- Canes are always a good thing.
- Elin brought the only example of strutting to this semi-final. Hurrah for strutting!
Hurrah for Malta for selecting Olivia Lewis & Vertigo (Ace Song for Europe #1) for Eurovision! Although, lady needs a dance routine now! Special mention to the man with the fans. //
Strange faces at Slovenia picking an intriguing opera-pop song //
Boo for Andreas Lundstedt crashing out of MF //
Big hurrahs for Anna Book. She's a game lass, bless her! //
I know I've just been to Finland, but this weekend is all about Sweden and the beginning of the 6 week fest that is Melodifestivalen! I've just heard the songs, and can't wait to see tomorrow night's show.
* Elina Lento's Money is quite ace pop. It has the ace chorus refrain "show me what it takes to be a real rich bitch" and use of the "money, money". It's not quite the pop stormer that was promised, but is damn good. It's what Gwen Stefani's Rich Girl could be if it dropped the rap and hooked up with a popstar. Looking forward to seeing it performed.
* Andersson & Gibson's Anything but You is rather pleasant, but doesn't really go anywhere.
* Anna Book! Samba Sambero! Hurrah, schlager! Huge key change!! Sounds just a little bit like The Chicken Dance. Should be a great fun performance, and won't that be wonderful.
* Addis Black Widow's song is slightly dark, demented Kylie. It's a bit 'meh' and sort-of just stops. MF songs need a big ending!
* ...speaking of which! Andreas! He stops the song by saying "Stop" It's like disco-Madonna-meets-Helena-Paparizou-with-a-boy. I rather like it. His 5 dancers should work it. Very high potential for literal choreographic application of lyrics. Ace!
* Tommy Nilsson's song is a big rock ballad, most popular in the 80s, just like its singer. Big key change with straining-out-the-song emoting, though.
* Sofia's Hypnotised owes Helena Paparizou its life. It's very much a Helena album track, and starts with a wonderful but although flattens out in the middle. Here's hoping the performance makes it live!
* Uno & Irma say God morgon! and the song bounces along jauntily with hints of guitary schlager, but no real melody.
Hurrah, if only Melodifestivalen was every Saturday night!