I love it when London cosplays as ____________

The Mall with NATO flags, 2019, US Embassy in UK, Wikimedia Commons

I was recently in London, and my friends Martin and Max alerted me that Lady Olé was taking place that Saturday night. 

I had wanted to go to this party for a while so it was an easy choice to make. Spanish and Latin pop x drag x Hoxton = ¡sí, señor!

During the fun night, Max asked if I was enjoying and I happily replied: "Yes, I love it when London cosplays as another city."

- Like when London cosplays as Madrid, Barcelona or Valencia with Lady Olé (or other Spanish events) reminding me of parties I've been to in each city  

- Like when London cosplays as Bogotá or Barranquilla, watching football in Elephant and Castle with Colombia fans 

- Like when London cosplays as Riga, in a Bayswater bar for Latvians that's been open since the 1950s

- Like when London cosplays as Lund or any other small Swedish city at the Swedish church screening Melodifestivalen shows

- Like when London cosplays as Seoul, with a large population of Koreans living in New Malden

- Like when London cosplays as Stavanger, with parades in Southwark for Norway's National Day

So many more examples could be made - showing the global city that London is.

Circle Lines | London

London's Circle Line is one of the oldest in the world but these days Ye Olde Circle Line isn't even a circle - it's a loop with a bit hanging off the end going to Hammersmith. 

After 11 years living in London, I never actually sat on the Circle Line from end to end. So, on a trip there last week, I got on at Embankment and went anti-clockwise. 

Here's what I saw.

- Three tired and very glum-faced people, a mother and two daughters, all wrapped up in scarfs.

- A woman adjusting her socks and saying to the man beside her: "I've gotta pull my socks up, figuratively". "Literally", he corrects her.

- A woman with a lilac bob.

- A woman holding a handbag with an embroidered elephant.

- A young guy with bleach blonde hair and a bridge piercing looking intently at his phone, and clenching his jaw.

- People looking upto the tube maps above them as if seeking divine inspiration.

- "I do miss a little bit us walking around in the outside. That was awesome, that was top tier."

- "She was like 'don't worry I have a guy for you' and I was in shock."

- "I sat there with a wry smile on my face, sipping out of my pumpkin."

- A bearded man dressed all in black, sitting with his arms folded the whole time.

- A woman putting on her makeup from a bright orange compact.

- A boy excitedly telling a story about someone pointing out someone's red coat.

- Two boys passing a phone to one another without saying a word.

- A man singing the word Padd‐ing-ton and saying "smashed it!"

- A man getting stuck in the closing doors and saying sorry to everyone.

- People talking in French, Greek, Portuguese and Spanish.

Circle Lines | Vienna

Vienna Laengenfeldgasse, Herbert Ortner, Wikimedia Commons CC-BY-SA

Vienna does not have a circle line. But with some quick U‐Bahn changes, it's possible to do a loop. 

You could do a tiny, small, medium or large loop. I took the medium option, on the U4 and U6 lines. I started and ended at the central Karlsplatz station.

The whole trip took about 30 minutes, in grey carriages with bright red chairs and bright yellow poles and handles. 

Here's who I saw:

- Quite a few older people with scooters

- A lot - a lot! - of people wearing grey: a boy in a tracksuit, a man in grey denim jeans + jacket, a woman with slacks and jumper (and a wine t-shirt)

- A young boy dragging his younger brother onto the train, play slapping each other and laughing a lot

- Three young men with a tent folded into a dark green bag, repeatedly banging their hands on it

- A young woman speaking into her phone: 'Nei-ne-ne-nei-ne-nei entschuldigung, sorry!'

- A little dog in a check coat popping its head over its seat

- A blonde English woman shaking her head saying, 'It's so stupid, no one asked for that'.

- A man in a moss green coat, white baseball hat and circular glasses dozing off

- A woman with a disappointed look on her face, rubbing her forehead and eyes

- A man with a black sweatshirt holding a light blue coffee cup and cake box

- A young girl wearing pink, shouting and knocking the back of her legs against a vent in the train. Eventually, she became quiet by tapping her mother's head.

- A man in a long beige coat and beige trousers, as if to match the beige cardboard box he's carrying. Maybe to compensate, his friend has long, bright red hair.

Overheard: Train in Austria

WESTbahn, Kabelleger, Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA

Two people on a train in Austria are looking at various websites on a laptop. One's about fabric, one's about chairs, another is about ice-cubes. Maybe they are planning the interior of a bar or café?

They're mostly speaking in German with occasional bits in English.

- It feels a little bit more modern

- Get your rave on!

- Your 360 degrees experience!

- Step over it? Step on it.

- Good morning you spicy little fuck nuggets. Love it, love it!

- He is the big guy in Europe for the ice cubes.

Circle Lines | Madrid Metro Line 6

I was in Madrid earlier this year, and decided to resume a blog series idea - riding a circular metro line.

Madrid's circular line - Línea 6 Circular - goes through 28 stations. I started and ended at the cavernous Principe Pio.

Madrid metro trains have no internal doors, so you can see all along the carriages. At Laguna station, the doors of the train opened on both sides. Never seen that before!

And here's who I saw:

- A man sleeping, a woman sniffling

- A woman speaking on her phone about this and that, ending the call with a low aaaaahhhhh

- A man in a flat-cap dashing along the platform

- A woman carrying toilet rolls laughing heartily with her companion.

- A man on crutches, watching cartoons on his phone

- A woman singing a song into a karaoke microphone, and everyone ignoring her.

- A man selling lollipops from a small green plastic basket. His blue back-pack had the words 'Kings of Europe' written on it.

- A young man on his phone - I was standing up, so could see the screen: he looked at memes, then nail cosmetics tutorials and then started playing chess

- A very tall young man, dressed in monochrome, untangling his white earphones

Overheard: Hotel lobby, Amsterdam

A group of five business people are sitting in an Amsterdam hotel lobby, discussing an upcoming presentation. Someone dropped the word innovative a few times.

'Option 1 is hard but option 2 is harder.'

'Option 1 and option 2 are horizons. We need something at the bottom to show their optionality.'

'First, we need a definition of how they are similar and different, and then we need a contrast.'

And then they took out a bag of pick 'n' mix and started snacking. A blond young man took a sweet from the bag: 'ooh look, it's a mini pizza!'

Overheard: Amsterdam hotel lobby

A hotel lobby in Amsterdam. Two middle-aged American women are sipping some wine, while a handsome, muscular, young Dutch guy sits next to them works on a laptop. The women catch his eye, and ask him for some dinner recommendations. They speak a little about museums and such. He then names two restaurants - one French and one Italian.

'And what about the local food?', one of the women asks.

He leans in: 'The local food is disgusting' 😆

Overheard: Derby charity shop

I'm in a charity shop in Derby, paying at the till for my purchase. The shop assistant is speaking to Me in a charity shop, while yer one talks to someone else.

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There's only me and Carol 'ere. We're waiting for Elvis. That's £3 duck.

Did ya enjoy yer burgers last night?

I tuk meself off ta bed!

Why?

Ya can't get round 'er dining room, she's got a bag on! You have a lovely day duck!

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