Overheard: Newcastle

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I recently spent a few days in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, where I heard the following choice sayings:

• 'Ah'm sorry about earlier burr ah didn't start it'
  
  
• 'Is this Abba or Share? ...oh it's Abba. Share do Abba now too ya know!'
  
  
• 'Ah'm here for the ketameen conference but I think I'm in the wrong place'
  
  
• 'That's all in foreign, I can't read foreign. If it were English, I might be interested.'
  
  
• 'I was reading the obituary of a philosopher the other day. He was anti-capitalist, said he wanted to see a rich person hang.'
  
  
• 'I didn't know his name so just put him in my phone as Gay 2'
  
  
• 'That's the Jack Daniels as a reference point'
  
  
• 'Let's go get some hula hoops!'
  
  
• 'Ya're loookin glowin, very sunny!' 'Thanks, it's cos I've had eleven hours sleep for once'
  
  
• In a charity shop, two women discussing a third:
  
  - She didn't turn up to work! She says, "this is my boyfriend and we're onna date" and the date is stood there looking nervous. I said to her, "you're meant to be at work!"
  
  - Aye she's taking the piss that lass!